"When I arrived at his worn down apartment complex, the security guards wouldn’t let me through the gate. I guess he called and warned them I would be coming. So I left and had my homegirl bring me back. I hid in the backseat. My plan worked, I was in."
It was my senior year of college. Which was said to be the easiest year of my college career, boy was they wrong. I was working a full-time job, taking 5 classes, all while applying to jobs. I’ve always been the go-getter type. Ever since my senior year of high school, when I felt what I thought was real money. I’ve always had excellent grades (daddy didn’t play), made my own money, and paid my own bills. The only money I ever received from daddy was the extra money that he wanted to give. I’ve always prided myself on my being independent and self-sufficient.
“Sunnie, you’re already late. Do not come in my class and become a disturbance.” Professor Trifle yelled at me as I burst through her door. I had just finished telling Tanya, my best friend, about ole boy who stopped me as I was running to try to get to Trifle’s class on time.
“Ugh, he was so annoying,” I told her as we sprinted to class together. She was used to being late to class. She was only running because she wanted to hear the goods.
“I was running to class, like I am now when his ass grabbed my arm. Not in a rough motion but he still grabbed it which cause all of my books to fall out of my hand. He helped me pick them up and asked for my name and all of these other questions I didn’t care about. I just knew if there was one thing Professor Trifle hated more than men were for you to be late to her class for a man and I was not trying to get on her bad side.”
I continued to tell Tanya what happened. “I answer them while I tried to hurry up and gather my shit. The next thing I know he tore a piece of paper from MY new 3 pocket spiral notebook and he left the strings in the rails! Then he took one of MY pens, for me to write MY number on. Pathetic.”
“Well, did you give it to him?” Tanya asked. “Yeah, to get his ass out of my face.” Tanya laughed and told me that I was crazy and that he was the finest boy at Tuskegee University. That’s the exact moment that I walked into class not realizing that I had. Then proceeded to get fussed at by Professor Trifle for being late and loud.
As I sat down all I could think about was what Tanya said about William. William was about 5’8 (a little short for my usual taste), waves that’ll make ya seasick, a shoe game to kill but he was a pretty boy and I hate pretty boys. Pretty boys always think they’re the prize in the relationship. Hell, I caught my high school sweetheart looking in the mirror for 30 minutes straight one time. That’s when I realized it was a problem and he had to go.
William was one of those men that knew for a fact he could get whatever he wanted. He could con a woman out of her drawls just by looking at her with those hazel brown eyes. All I could think was “this can’t be nothing but trouble.” But then a part of me wanted to welcome the trouble. This is the first time in a while that a man has approached me that I was actually okay with holding a conversation with, except for the fact that I could only think about being late to class, at the time.
I was headed to work when I received William’s text asking if I ended up making it to class. I told him yes, with no thanks to him. What can I say, I’m a rough lover. I like confrontation in certain situations. To me, it makes the love stronger if you have it early on. You know, get over the shyness and bumps in the road early.
William was a great conversationalist through text. He sounded very intellectual, used correct punctuations and he even spelled out every word. For my nerd brain, TURN ON. I can’t stand it when men don’t know how to curate a proper sentence, especially when talking to me. Have and show some respect for a busy lady. He acted as if he was interested in me and what I had to say.
But boy was I wrong. For the next nine months, I was playing chauffeur when his transmission went out in his Nissan, ATM when his mom wouldn’t send him any more money to suffice his weed smoking habit, a sex machine when HE needed it, oh and let’s not forget his mother. I was washing his clothes, folding and hanging them up. He always had a Sunday dinner and I cooked faithfully three days out of the week. You would’ve thought I was a single mother at 22 years old.
Granted, I could’ve said no but then he would’ve just gotten upset and I loved for our space to stay happy. So maybe that was a thumbs down on my part. I saw the signs and ignored them. He would always flip his phone over, airplane mode would pop on it sometimes, going outside to take phone calls from his “homeboys,” not posting, or letting anyone basically know he was with me unless they were in my DM’s trying to get at me, and he stayed on Instagram way too long for my liking. I would always think ‘don’t you have something better to do? Get a job.’
He took advantage of me at this time. I was stressed out and in love with him and he knew it. I don’t know what kind of spell he cast on me but it worked. I was whipped. Anything he wanted, I did or I made sure he had. I didn’t see how toxic this relationship was. He would go to the club, stay out, then come home and give me a UTI. I didn’t have direct proof of him cheating but I knew my body. I knew there was no way my vagina could be experiencing so much pain because it never had before. It was him and his dirty penis.
One day we got into an argument and he decided to go out that night. He didn’t come back to my place like he had been doing, since we had been dating. Call it women’s intuition but I woke up out of my sleep at around 2 AM. Something told me to call him. I called him three times with no answer. Part of me was getting worried that something could’ve happened and the other part of me wanted to kill him because I knew what he was capable of. I chose to ignore the signs and his previous relationships.
When I arrived at his worn-down apartment complex, the security guards wouldn’t let me through the gate. I guess he called and warned them I would becoming. So I left and had my homegirl bring me back. I hid in the backseat. My plan worked, I was in. When we arrived at his apartment his room light was on. I walked to his door and knocked. I got no answer. Then I remembered he never locks his front door. I walked right in and then right into his room to find him giving oral to Sabrina Moore, what a whore! You dirty bastard! I screamed as I began to beat him with a baseball bat he had sitting in the corner of his room. I tore his room up. Papers from his desk were everywhere, his new Mac book pro was smashed, and picture frames were broken. I was not playing with him. I had had enough.
“Welp my job here is done,” I said as I walked out of the room smacking my hands together. “And don’t call my damn phone, I’m done with your no good ass.” Granted I had to help pay to get his things replaced but it was worth seeing that dumb-ass look on his dumb ass face.
That relationship ended quickly I must admit but that’s what I get for jumping in so quick without actually getting to know the kind of person William was. I saw the signs and the red flags but I also saw those hazel brown eyes. What can I say I was blinded by love. But I won’t ever dwell on this. It was a lesson that needed to be learned and it did just that.